I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
