i jhust puked up my retainher.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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