Plan B is the new Plan A
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
