now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Two words: nipple clamps
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