C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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