so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
