dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
