I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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