The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
