nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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