Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this will be a night to untag.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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