dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
