Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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