I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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