So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
