I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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