Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
