He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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