fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
