What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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