double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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