In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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