Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
