Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
