I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
