I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
