i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
