return my video game
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
