i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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