Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
be right there i have to get my cape
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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