I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
