I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
