it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I touched a dick in church today
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
