Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
