On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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