My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
