Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
