If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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