he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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