i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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