i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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