i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
