i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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