I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
