Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
