I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
