not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
