I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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