guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
