I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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