I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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