blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
