You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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