i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
