it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
