I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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